If you want something, ask for it. It sounds simple enough, but you'd be surprised how many opportunities people miss because they are afraid to ask.
They assume the answer will be no, worry about what someone might think, or convince themselves that what they want is beyond their reach.
To me, asking is not just a way to get something. It's fun. I enjoy the process, whether I'm dealing with business, negotiating a purchase, or taking a chance in my personal life. There's a certain satisfaction in recognizing an opportunity, figuring out how to approach it, and then making the ask.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but at least I've given myself a chance.
A Summer to Remember
When I was young, I worked at a job for a short time where there were lots of young people and a great deal of employee turnover.
One day, a crop of new hires came in. One beautiful young woman immediately caught my eye, and judging by the attention she attracted, I wasn't the only one who noticed her.
During our lunch break, I spotted her driving alone, just as I was. I saw her in my rearview mirror and decided to take a chance. I held my hand out the window, motioned for her to pull up beside me and stop, and then invited her to lunch.
Looking back, it was a bold move. I could have worried about what she might think, convinced myself she would say no, or simply driven on and wondered what might have happened. Instead, I asked.
That one decision had lasting effects that I won't go into here, but I will say this: it turned out to be a very good summer.
Twenty Percent Off — Just for Asking
Earlier this year, I was shopping at a department store when I spotted a shirt I kind of liked. I thought it was overpriced, but I was going to buy it anyway.
On my way to the sales desk, an idea crossed my mind, and I decided to have some fun.
I examined the shirt and noticed a loose thread. That gave me a legitimate reason to ask whether a discount was possible.
I quickly looked for someone I thought had the authority to make that decision. Then, I approached her with a smile, some eye contact, and a friendly manner.
I explained that the shirt had a flaw and asked whether she could take anything off the price.
She offered me fifteen percent off. I was pleased, but I wasn't ready to stop there. I still thought I could get more of a discount.
I held the shirt up as though giving it another look and asked, “Could you do a little more?” She initially said no, but something in her tone made me think there might still be room to negotiate. Keeping it light, I smiled, gave her upper arm a playful pat with the back of my hand, and said, “Come on, Tonya, help me out here!”
She smiled and gave me twenty percent off.
She seemed happy to do it. I walked away happy with the shirt and even happier with the experience.
I had asked for a discount, received one, and then asked for a little more. It wasn't about winning some great financial victory. It was about recognizing an opportunity, and having a little fun.
There are techniques involved in making an effective ask — how you approach someone, the way you frame your request, your timing, and even your tone of voice.
I'll save some of those thoughts for another time. For now, the important point is that I wouldn't have received either discount if I hadn't asked.
What Have You Got to Lose?
The same principle applies in business. You might want a better price, a more favorable arrangement, a new client, or an introduction to someone who could open a door for you.
You may think the price is firm, the opportunity is out of reach, or the person you're approaching is too important to entertain your request. But until you ask, you don't really know.
Of course, asking doesn't guarantee success.
The Bible offers these familiar words in Matthew 7:7: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” The passage speaks to a larger spiritual truth, but its message also reminds us that we cannot expect every door to open if we're unwilling to knock.
Think about the things you might never have experienced if you'd been too afraid to ask. The relationship you never pursued. The business opportunity you never explored. The price you paid without questioning it. The favor you needed but never requested.
Not every answer will be yes, and not every risk will pay off. But a no doesn't necessarily leave you any worse off than before you asked. A yes, on the other hand, can sometimes make all the difference.
As the old proverb says, “Fortune favors the bold.”
You don't have to be the richest, smartest, most attractive, or most influential person in the room. You simply have to be willing to take a chance, open your mouth, and ask.
And who knows? You might just get what you want — and have a little fun along the way.